You Become What You Hear

You Become What You Hear
By
Sannel Larson

I keep staring into the mirror

searching for signs of being abused.

Yet no open wounds are seen

so why does my body feel bruised?


I stare into the bleak mirror

with mistrust and unease

looking for a simple answer,

why do I always fail to please?


The beautiful woman I once was

with self-respect and pride.

Intelligent, witty and strong

changed when I became your bride.


But I have no right for self-pity

I deserve to be punished by you.

The dreams I used to have of my own

became fully yours to break and ruin too.


You have all the right to shout

since I'm the only one to be blamed.

I'm useless, stupid, and oh, so ugly

I should only be ashamed.


My cooking may not please you

so you throw it in my face

as I am on my knees to clean it up

you shout; "You're such a disgrace!"


Yes, my darling, it's all my fault

you're such a good husband, it's true.

I'm such a simple-minded imbecile,

I shall try better to please you.


Years of shouting and name-calling

has left me both nervous and in fear.

You're constantly questioning my sanity

I feel so worn out and my mind unclear.


I see a face in so much pain

Is this the proof of being your wife?

Deep inside is my wounded soul.

How long can I bear this life?


Sometimes you replace your mocking voice

with sweet whispers of love and care

you make me feel so desired and loved

Dear God, let it last, I ask in silent prayer.


I feel embarrassed and ashamed

when you shout in a hurtful tone;

"No one want's you, you're such a loser

no wonder you're so alone!"


If I'm so worthless as a human being

what have I to leave behind here in life?

Will there be a proof of my existence

or shall I be known only as your wife?


With eyes flickering with fear

I see a face, pale and tired.

How can a woman this ugly

once have been so desired?


© Copyright 2012 by Sannel Larson. All rights reserved



I wrote this poem after I had written an article to be shared at Bill Holland's Face Book group, H.O.W. -"Humanity One World." 
H.O.W. is a movement dedicated to helping the less-fortunate in this world. A site dedicated to bringing us all closer. A site dedicated to...loving one another. My article was about verbal and emotional abuse, describing the signs and how to find strength to break away from an abusive relationship.

Verbal abuse is deeply wounding to the soul, that can leave scars for the rest of the victims life. Living in constant fear and listening to negative criticism day in and day out, will in the end have horrific consequences, both physically and mentally. It's so important for the victim to seek help or walk out from this kind of relationship as soon as possible. We must realize, our personal health and well-being are so much more important than being in a relationship.

I hope this poem can help women and men in an abusive relationship to recognize the symptoms of verbal and emotional abuse, and seek help and/or walk out, or help someone they believe are in an abusive relationship.

If this poem can help even one victim to take the important step to get help, or get out from their abusive relationship, it will make me the happiest person in the world, because I know how much damage this kind of abuse can do to a person in the long run. You may be scarred for life.

Take action against your abuser!

Value Yourself!

Please, remember you're not alone!

These are some of my comments from my followers at HP. Please, take a moment of your time and click on their links and discover some really interesting and beautiful writers and writing at Hub Pages.  

Thank you my friends and followers for your lovely and kind feedback on my work. 
God Bless you all,
Sannel

Such an important message. I have seen this with friends and family, and it is sad and so cruel. Well done my friend...well done!

Bill


I started to read your hub about verbal abuse earlier, but didn't have time to read it all. I'll do it soon. This poem really shows the woman's pain. I'm sure it can help more than just one vicitim. Verbal abuse is something we should talk more about. I'm not sure all victims realize that they are vicitims until they read this poem or your article about this subject.

Hugs/kram.

Made



What a sad poem! Ripping into wounds! May this encourage all women in abusive relationship to escape and start a new life. And may all abusive men be ashamed of themselves.

Martie




Martie is right! This is such a sad and tragic poem. You've written about a sensitive subject so beautifully and poignantly and given us a glimpse into a world of silent suffering. I'm hoping your poem gives abused women and men the courage to do whatever they must to escape. Yes, I said women and men. Women can be verbally abusive too. I know. I've been there! Thanks for sharing this poem and the excellent hub on verbal abuse you published a couple of days ago. Both are so important!

Rick



Wow! Sannel, this is ...amazing, beautiful, heartbreaking...all mixed into one. I have goosebumps. I am so happy for you that you are no longer in this situation and I thank you for being able to verbalize it and share.

Randi



This piece cut deep to my core, I felt her pain, it was my mothers pain. I felt it as I watched the terror as a boy and witness to not only her verbal but physical abuse as well. She could not do enough for this beast who lived in our house, he subjugated her to his every whim. She sacrificed herself for us her children, so we would not go unfed or put out to live in the streets. No WOMAN should ever be ABUSED they are gifts from heaven to bring forth fruit so pleasing to both a Man and Woman, that of a CHILD. I pray that every woman in an abused situation, recognize it for what it is and PACK UP AND LEAVE or at the very best, seek help immediately for the sake of their sanity and their children's. Hugs from me to you.

Vincent



Sannel, While I thoroughly appreciated your written work on verbal abuse a few days ago, this poem made tears pour down my face.

You have reached deep in your heart and all of your inner strength to write this raw and realistic poem.

Your writing is evolving at a rapid clip. Just beautiful, S...

Love, Maria




Hi Sannel... tears have fallen here as I read your words. How can one do such a thing to another, especially one with such a soft gentle spirit I have come to know.

To the abusers in life I would suggest maybe you try your ways on someone who will not take it and I know the lesson you will learn would be one that would last a lifetime. Each time you thought of doing it again you may remember the day you had met your match...

Hugs and much Love my friend.

Rolly



Abuse of any kind is so very damaging. I am sad to say that I can relate to this piece--I think many women can---and bravo to those who end those relationships!

Audrey Howitt




Hi Sannel

I believe that verbal and emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse. It makes me sick how the abuser justifies their actions and blames it on the victim.

I am so happy that you are no longer in a abusive relationship.

Voted up and sharing

Hugs to you my friend,

Sue



I am so glad that you have set these feelings free. You are rid of them, they are no longer pent up inside you. You display a 'lust for life' and an old fools words can be left behind.

Mike




This amazing poem speaks for the victims of verbal abuse like no other dear Sannel. And you know Alastar is very happy to learn you've set yourself free from such wicked rubbish. It is the worst when someone loves another enough to give their dreams and self to them completely, only to be savagely betrayed in such a way - and yes, sometimes verbal is worse than physical abuse. What a coward and what a fool to lose one as awesome as you. Shared with gladness my friend- FB too.

Alastar Packer




So tragic and sad yet I see a very strong woman who has escaped this kind of abusive relationship and soul less man who blames his own problems by disrespecting a woman. Often the ugly things one person says to the other are the things they can’t admit about themselves. You are an amazing person. Don’t let anyone makes you forget that ever.

I hope you are completely over it and I hope people who are abused verbally would have their eyes opened too. Blessings to you to share this to everyone especially to people who can relate...

BTW, I miss reading your sexy hot poems :)

Fehl




Thank you for this. your last stanza illustrates the harsh results for everyone. If we think abut it a man and a woman can be quite a team, working together and supporting each other.

Martin



Hello Sweet Sannel..wow what a poem of truth....

I had a second husband that treated me like that.. it lasted 7 years of terror.. the reason i stayed because of my sons. it took me forever to away from him,.. 35 years later I still have to see him because of my sons.. I wont even talk to him to this day.. he still denies he was mean to me.., what a man!! ugh!!.. it has taken me years of pain to get over the abuse..

Merry Christmas

Sharing

debbie



Sannel, been there and even worse. People who bring you down are insecure and don't like themselves. In order to feel better, they belittle everyone around them. One of the reasons I divorced my second husband is because he criticized absolutely everyone! I'd rather be alone and I have chosen to live my life without a man. Until I find (and I'm not looking) someone who sees me as someone with something to offer, I choose to no longer submit myself to abuse, accusations, blame and worse - loss of self esteem!

bravewarrior