Sannel Larson

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Withered Dreams of Motherhood

Withered Dreams of Motherhood
Sannel Larson

. . . Life can sometimes bring about many unbearable experiences, leaving in their wake open wounds that don't heal. Haunting memories waiting just below the surface, waiting for the right moment to remind us of their presence. Memories that shall never leave you in peace. . . . ever.

Memories off in the distance

drift towards me in dead air

as I turn the hourglass back

to a time of sorrow and fear.

Grains of sand are falling

taking me far, far away

to a time never forgotten

where night replaces the day.

Old years are passing

through the trickle of sand.

Images float before my eyes

in despair, I raise my hand.

With each grain of sand

more and more, I see.

Why do you make me suffer

do you not hear my plea?

From a wearied soul

a child's cry, I now hear.

Oh, please my lord

more of this I cannot bear.

Heavily the gray sky rains

connecting my tears with each drop.

Silent screams in my head

shouts stop, stop, please STOP!

As you take your final breath

the bluest eyes look upon me.

Clutched, lifeless in my arms

you lay so still on my knee.

A miracle so short and sweet

known only to my eyes

trickles down through the sand

as my newborn child dies.

Shadow of a grieving woman

faced with so much pain.

Withered dreams of motherhood

left with nothing but sadness to gain.

When I take the hourglass

and crush it in my hand.

Memories I hope to quell

through the blood and sand.

©Copyright 2012 by Sannel Larson

I thank all of you who left comments when this was published on HP.
I decided to keep these comments since your supportive and kind words brought me so much joy to my heart.
I love you all!
Thank you and God Bless,

Your absolutely correct about memories. I have plenty to draw from when I write my poetry. This one you pen is very sad indeed, motherhood is so delicate and to lose a child is devastating to her. I know of a few who have lost their children at birth and they were radically affected by this great loss. Nevertheless thank you for sharing this poignant poem, sometimes releasing the pain through words laid down with our pens is our only salvation. Hugs +Vincent

I think it must be the biggest disappointment - expecting with so much anticipation a baby for 9 months and then to see him/her dies. Indeed '... trickles down through the sand..."

Beautiful, heart-touching poem!


Such a beautiful, poignant and heart-wrenching poem, Break of Dawn. The imagery you've chosen, the hourglass, is particularly effective and grief bleeds from the words. The mother's desperation to quell her tortured memories, the smashing the hourglass is a powerful image. You've addressed a very difficult and painful subject beautifully and with sensitivity. I think this is one of your best pieces to date. You should be pleased.

Hi Sannel

"As you take your final breath

the bluest eyes look upon me.

Clutched, lifeless in my arms

you lay so still on my knee."

Tears are running down my face. There is so much beauty, love and sensitivity in your writing.

Take care,


Oh, my goodness. This is a beautiful, poignant poem. So very sad. It breaks my heart and brought tears to my eyes to read. Memories like these are so painful and usually the ones that are so hard to shake. My heart goes out to you.

Nothing more painful than the anticipation of a child only then to lose them. I think it is one of the things that follows one through life and always leaves permanent scars. This from a woman who has stood before a small white coffin after a stillborn baby. Faith is what keep us going. God bless.
Gypsy Rose Lee

Painful; flowing and poignant.


Good Morning Sannel... this is one of the most heartfelt poems I have run my eyes over. I certainly am no poet or master of words but these certainly touched me this morning. Love, Joy, Pain, Suffering and all coming from a heart filled to overflowing.

Many Hugs from Canada,


Heartbreakingly powerful, vulnerable and expressive, Sannel.
Your writing is a gift, no matter what the subject. Thank you for sharing yourself so openly. Voted UP and AB. Love,


I have both read and re-read along a journey to the homes of writers of friendship today. I was drawn to this and to the biography of Tomas Tranströmer the Swedish Poet. He an influence and this poem an influence offered to me a quandary of indecision which to visit upon again - I choose.

Even though there is a hug of love those feelings are there leaving to seek above. The poet shares the struggle of not lifting one's eyes upward, yet the agony of opened eyes.

I appreciate the sharing, which offers freely understanding, when I re-open my eyes, now closed in prayer for moms everywhere . . .


Sannel there is nothing so sad as a mother losing her new born child.. I love your poem it touched so deep in my heart.and soul.. I voted this so awesome and beautiful one of the best I ever read



Beautiful write--so full of heartbreak!
Audrey Howitt

The unbearable loss of a child is something no mother (or father) should ever know. We learn to breathe again but that wound forever remains sore. Bless you for this heartbreaking and beautiful poem. Bless you.

Hello Break of Dawn - it's really so awesome to see this change of pace from you in terms of 'creative writing.' I am really so impressed and in awe of your 'new exciting direction' in poetry. Please share with your readers more of your amazing talent - if you have more to offer.
Sannel, you have treated us here with poetry as art and yet the human side of it always shines through and I am glad of that because it shows the sensitive side of the person who wrote it - and that it comes truly from your beautiful heart and noble mind.


  1. (I left a comment. It grew like a meadow laced with red and white camellias reminding me of when that happen once before. A story was writ for a comment, remember, 'Morning tea?'

    Well soon along a familiar path of my mind at times it became similar to that, yet now a letter soon to be sent. Maybe today I will bring that hub of once before from the Hall of Sessrúmnir. Time will offer what it does. I do not want to hurry as that at times does not well.

    Consider this comment is in parenthesis. Similar to silence, closer to a whisper at a Christmas Eve concert of Stella Chamber Choir. I seem to feel my love's elbow when I did whisper - giggle, being this comment is 'silence.')

  2. Since this comment is neither seen or heard. . . my reply will follow suit. . . giggle!


Your lovely comments are my reward,
Thank you !